Put an end to a disturbing puzzle.

Do you know that before I entered medical school I was in USM Kubang Kerian? Obviously I wasn't doing medicine there because I wasn't one of those 4 flat students. I got an offer to study Forensic Science there. If you're wondering Forensic Science was my 5th out of the 8 choices. My mom kind of freaked out when she found out about it and I know she was relieved when I received an offer letter from MARA to spend my 'glorious' 5 years in medical school.

I'm still into forensic if you ask *blame the CSI series**omg, I can't believe I'm so lame*. Last week I brought back the idea of me getting into the forensic field. I just wanna see their reaction, really. As I predicted, my mom and dad still disagree with the idea. I wouldn't say at all but they were half-heartedly answering me during the conversation. Well, never mind. There are just two possibilities. It's either I change my mind later on or them.

Why do I like Forensic? Well, quite a difficult question to answer. Just like when people ask you what to eat for dinner. Do I really want pizza? But I'm craving for nasi putih and ayam goreng halia at the same time. Ah! Whatever. You choose an eatery for me, pretty please?

All I remember that when I was 17 I was encouraged and still am by the CSI series. I know it's lame but that's my raison d'etre. I think what they do are kind of fascinating and intriguing. They save lives too, you know? They bring closure. They put an end to a disturbing puzzle.

And to top it all, when I was 22 I discovered Tess Gerritsen. She is a Chinese-American novelist and physician well-known for her medically astute suspense thrillers. I have an entire collection of her medical thriller series. Thanks to Nadia 'cause she was the one who introduced me to Tess Gerritsen.

There is one question that people keep on asking me, "Are you brave enough to let yourself in?" Why would I be terrified? I know I sound arrogant and all but seriously why would I? You won't know unless you give it a try, don't you?

*The word forensic comes from the Latin adjective forensis, meaning "of or before the forum". In Roman times, a criminal charge meant presenting the case before a group of public individuals in the forum. Both the person accused of the crime and the accuser would give speeches based on their side of the story. The individual with the best argument and delivery would determine the outcome of the case. Basically, the person with the sharpest forensic skills would win. This origin is the source of the two modern usages of the word forensic – as a form of legal evidence and as a category of public presentation.* - Wikipedia.

Inspired and motivated.

I can't believe what just happened to me today. I woke up so early in the morning just to have a cat fight with my sister. What a way to start the day! Never mind her. I hope that she will answer her Mathematics paper very well. All the best, Adik!

So I was googling something regarding medical stuff a few minutes ago when I came across a very inspiring blog written by a houseman. Less number of complaints and more of inspiring words for all the doctors out there. From what I've read so far, I think she is one of the excellent and hardworking housemen who really cares about what she is doing and always wants what's best for her patients. Even I'm inspired to start working after spending some time at her blog, reading and being motivated. ^^

P/S: I still want more holidays!

Chopsticks Crisis *blushing without wearing my blusher*

I have a secret that only certain people know about it. It's embarrassing, actually. Should I just blurt it out here? Or should I not? What the hell, right? Just let it out and get over with it. But the problem is even if I let everyone knows about it there's nothing that they can do to help me, can you? Haha. Let me take a deep breath and think for a second. Wait a minute, what is there to think about? Such small matter doesn't need thinking. It just needs some solving. Some action. Okay, fine.

The truth is I don't really know how to use chopsticks! There, I said it. I know Didi would be laughing hysterically if she read this. Muahahaha. Let's laugh together, shall we? But seriously I used to be an expert in this when I was in high school learning Japanese language and culture. Eating sushi that we all made together. And getting diarrhea for the extra vinegar that we added. Oh how I miss SAINA. Oh yeah, not to forget the time where we had the Japanese carnival. We took pictures with the Yukata that Yuka Sensei brought along with her to Malaysia. We ate Dorayaki together. Having fun and not worrying a bit about life except for SPM *not me*. Those were the days.

Okay, back to my chopsticks crisis. I know they only way I would be excellent at it is by practice. Yeah, practice makes perfect. I still remember when we used to go to Sushi King and Didi would insist *with her exophthalmos eyes* that I should give it a try and go with it. I did give it a try for a while before I stopped because I sensed that my hands just looked ridiculous holding the chopsticks *I didn't wanna humiliate myself as well*.

Well now, things have got to change. Why? Because I said so. So here goes a video from Youtube on how to hold and use chopsticks correctly. Hehe.

Happy birthday to you.

Today is definitely a special day. But not for me, I guess. What is there to celebrate on 18th November? Just another mind-numbing day to be forgotten like the others. That was before I met a 'minah' who was born on 18th November 1985. I first noticed her in 2004 when we first stepped our feet in India (Totally for me, but not her. She's been to India several times before). My first impression towards her? Lol. Did I ever tell you that my first impressions towards all the people that make me content now is undeniably bad and evil? Same goes for this 'minah'.

She was carrying her luggages and it was raining (I prolly made this up. My long term memory doesn't work that well when it comes to minute details). But wait, she wasn't alone! There were 2 grown-ups helping her with the luggages! The first thing that came to mind was "Damn. Budak manja. *bluekkkkkkkkkk*" You wanna know why? All the other students came on their own. Our parents didn't accompany us like her parents did (good for her). We went to India alone! Some of us didn't even have friends at the time let alone parents to escort us.

The second time I had my encounter with her was when we moved in to our hostel. We called it AS or New AC Hostel. Her roommate was Didi. They are like best friends forever till now. I don't know what got into them but they were so excited about the new room. Wait, not the room as a whole but the air conditioner. Lol. They thought only their room has AC and decided to tell everyone else and make a big fuss about it. Hahahahahaha. Sorry guys.

We became quite close for a while. I still remember those times where we used to go for lunch and dinner at The Joint. That time there were 5 of us. Didi, 'minah', Sheila, Maryam, Natasha, Ezulia and me if i'm not mistaken. She spent a lot of time in my room singing her favorite song Karma by Coklat. She sang so loud the whole floor could hear her. More like screaming I would say. I went deaf for some time after her singing.

We started to grow apart when I had a new boyfriend (See? I don't deny it this time. I know it's true). I spent lesser time with them. I seldom went for lunch or dinner together anymore. I was busy chatting online on my laptop. Haih. Bad Zafirah. So bad. Things got worst when we moved out from AS. It was like we went our separate ways. Some of them moved in to Sonia and some moved in to PG Hostel. I decided to move in to a single room. You know the boyfriend thingy, the privacy. So I stayed in Indira Hostel far far away from everyone else. The distance between us became more and more and more and we stopped hanging out. Not just with them. I just didn't feel like hanging out with everyone. I skipped birthday parties. I skipped movie plans. I became asocial and spent more time in my room being a kiasu. -_-

Thank god things changed when we came back to Malaysia. 'Minah' and I, it's like we were fated to stay on the same floor and rekindled our friendship. We became close again. We spent most of our time together. We went for lunch together. We went for dinner together. We gossiped together. We watched movies together. We shopped together. We 'meluahkan perasaan' together. Almost everything together. (We're no bunch of gays, okay?) And thanks to her I could revive my friendship with the others as well. Hehe. You guys know who you are. You guys are the best.

And let's celebrate this day, the day a 'minah' was born even though we're all far apart. She is one of the bestest, greatest friend I've ever met all my life. I'm not good when it comes to stuff like this. I'm lost for words. All I can say is I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done (I will keep doing them, I suppose. Haha) and happy birthday to my wonderful friend. Your friendship is one of the best things ever happened to me. ^^

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAHIRAH! LOVE U!

Hansel and Gretel, I guess.

She was sitting alone on her favorite bench, trying really hard to read the book that she had borrowed from the library. I should have just given up and go for a movie, she said to herself. But that is not how life is supposed to be. Everyone kept on telling her that. All her life she had been listening to the same sentence depicted in different ways it made her want to throw up at times. And today was one of those days where she had the guts to say no to herself. No, I have to finish what I have started. She repeated the sentence in her head thrice hoping that it would turn out to be like an enchantment.

Suddenly a thought came to her mind telling that she should be reading in between the lines so she could come to the end sooner. She did not even understand why she had to read the book in the first place. No one ever forced her. Neither did they tell her the book was fine nor it was horrible. She went to the library yesterday after work with an anticipation to find some interesting reading material to kill her time on a bright Sunday afternoon. That was when she came across a grandfather and his grandchild. He was reading to him from Hansel and Gretel and she was eavesdropping from behind the pillars. It sounded so magnificent yesterday but why when she read it to herself it seemed she had been stabbed in the heart she felt like dying?

A tiny voice in her head started yelling and asking her to stop before she gets hurt. But why bother when she was already halfway? She continued reading from Hansel and Gretel flipping through pages with tears falling down from her eyes. Hansel and Gretel never made her cry in the past but why now? It was just a tale from the Brothers Grimm meant to be a pleasant fable for middle-class consumers of the 19th century. Nothing great. Then she realized there were unseen meaning behind her tears. Tears that drop down like rains when you see someone in despair. Tears that fall down from the eyes when you see a blind grandfather pretending to read from a book so that his grandchild could hear the story of Hansel and Gretel.

Everything made sense to her when she remembered she could not sleep last night. She was crying to sleep her tears dried on their own with her last thought on the grandfather and his mentally challenged grandson spending time together in their own little world. She again burst into tears when she reminisced vividly the grandfather with his crutches holding his grandson's hand walking to go home where they both lived happily ever after.

Or, maybe not.

I really miss everyone. Let's go shopping. Haha

I have this sudden urge to go shoppinggggggggg. This is why I hate watching Gossip Girl and 90210. Their clothes, handbags and accessories are sooooooooooooo niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. If only I could use THAT moneyyyyyy. *scream my lungs out* *sabar-sabar, THAT money is for Sabah, okie?*

And I miss hanging out with Nenek, Kanak2 Yang Bencikan Strawberry, Gadis Kopi Milk, Sweet Sheila and Hana Chan. I wanna go do movies and shopping and eat and everythingggggg. Hehehe. Really miss u guys. Awesomest people I've ever met. *jangan kembang*

I miss my best friend too, Nadia. I miss our gossip sessions at the English Cottage place. Hahahaha. Totally forgot the name of the place because everytime we went there I just remembered the delicious fooddd. Hope to see you soon Nadia. Love you bebeh.

I miss my groupmates. Vino, Vyshva, Vimmy, Rammy, Lyn, Rabean, Alex, Yaamuna, Yeng Ling,
KKK, Tien Gen, Vila, Vicky!!!!! Where else can I find cool people like you guyssss. *sob sob*

I miss Shalon and Magloo too. Hahahahaha. Love hanging out in Shalon's room with the 2 of you. To Sharlene, you're one of a kind I would say *btw, that is a compliment*. And Maggie, see you in Sabah soonnnnnn.

I miss my neighbour Serene. Thanks for 'layan'-ing me all the timeeee. ^^

I miss Intan jugak. My study partner. You really did help me a lottttt. Bila lagi la nak tengok awak pacing back and forth ye? Hahahaha.

I miss jugak Baya, Faridah, Ira and Aini. Really hope to see korang semua soonnnn. :)

I miss Natasha and her leeching. Hehe. You've been a really good friend to me. ^^

I miss Asha, Nurul and Fara D too. Korang bising-bising dekat luar bilik ingat I tak dengar ke? Habis semua rahsia. Hahahaha. JK.

Actually, I really do miss everyone in Batch 15. Bila lagi nak jumpa orang cool macam Batch 15!!!! *emo emo*

I hope everyone is having fun right now. Enjoy your holidaysssss! ^^

Day 8.

RANDOM PIC I GOT FROM GOOGLE

Day 8. At least now I'm not jobless.

Bangun pagi tadi pukul 9.08 ayah kejut untuk hantar dia ke Shahab Perdana. Cewah! Zaf dah ada lesen??? Yeah. Yeah. Dah ada. Hahahahaha. Taklah sebenarnya adik aku yang drove. Aku hanya sekadar pengikut saja.

On the way back, adik aku sempat bagi ceramah pasal driving. Macam mana nak belok. Macam mana nak control steering wheel. Hahahaha. Ada ke adik yang bag ceramah. Adeh.

Sampai rumah tengok Tamwhite (kucing) sangat kotor so mandikan dia. Susah jugak nak mandikan kucing ni. Bising and kuat mencakarrrrrrr. Meowwww. First time mandikan kucing anyway. Hehe. Sebelum ni orang lain yang selalu buatkan benda-benda ni.

Lepas tu buang sampah. Nak tunggu MBAS nak amik? Tahun depan la. Negeri Kedah dah jadi busukkkk. Aaaaaaaaaaaaa. Bencinyaaa. Saya memang tak suka government Kedah sekarang dan tidak takut untuk bagitau semua orang. Hahahaha.

Masuk rumah masak nasi, cuci pinggan breakfast tadi. And now duduk depan laptop sambil tengok TV and bergossip dengan Nenek. *winkwink*

Like I said earlier, at least now I have something to do. *giggles gedik*